Ted's at-the-ballpark team gear fan etiquette

As the Mrs. and I enjoy a few beers in advance of the Astros home opener (screw the Monday after the Super Bowl, MLB opening day should be a national holiday), we are chatting about the event-pertinent fashion choices made by the ever growing crowd of fans in our pregame bar of choice. As a result of this exchange, I've decided to briefly outline my fan gear philosophy:

•Throwback gear is always acceptable, EXCEPT in the case of the uniform/logo/color scheme immediately prior to the current one. For instance, wearing a 1998 vintage navy blue/metallic gold Tony Eusebio Astros jersey to the ballpark today is perfectly acceptable. A 2005 Chris Burke brick red, black and sand (or whatever they called that crappy beige) jersey? Nope.

•You can't wear the current jersey of players no longer with the team. Rocking your Altuve #27 today? Great choice! Pulled your Saturday orange Dexter Fowler (now with Cubs) #21 out of the closet? Fowl... I mean FOUL on you!

•Despite it being a team for which they played, you can't customize a jersey with a player name/number if they never wore that jersey. I don't want to see any "RYAN 34" jerseys from the Jimmy Wynn "shooting star" uni era, nor any Colt .45s caps with anything Astros. I made sure that he had indeed played for them in '89 when they made they switch from pullover to button-down before I slapped "PUHL 21" on my button-down Rawlings Astros home white.

•Never mix/combine different era logos... but if you insist on being one of those people, NEVER MIX DIFFERENT COLOR SCHEMES!!!!! Brick red, navy blue and sand? Puke!!!! Oh wait, that's the current Cleveland Cavaliers combo isn't it? Well, at least they have LeBron.

•Updated/resurrected logos must abide by the "no mixing logos" standard. The current update of the Astros 70s/80s era logo can be used with the current unis/gear, BUT NOT your Mitchell & Ness "BIGGIO 7" throwback BP jersey. Your old Astros cap from '86? Close, but no wearing it with your contemporary "SPRINGER 4" home white.

•Non-logo, but pertinent fan gear of the proper color scheme is acceptable. My wife's "I'm a Baseball and Cold Beer kinda girl" navy blue and orange t-shirt worn with her current logo Astros visor? Thumbs up!!!

Happy opening day 2015 all!!!

Wait for it...

BLOOOOOOOOGGGG!!!

I'm thinkin'...

it may be time to again start writing... or start writing again... or start again writing.

Writing is hard.

A show... and dinner!!!

Heading over to the Continental Club this evening to take in the Southern Culture on the Skids show... for those of you not familiar with the band, they do a song called "8 Piece Box"... during live performances of this song, pieces of fried chicken are gently (or not so gently) tossed into the crowd, as seen here...



Fun! That being said, I don't think this concept would work nearly as well if Robert Earl Keen chose to do the same during a performance of "Five Pound Bass".

Just sayin'...

Not sure how I feel about this...

should I be happy that I was, by far, the least-fat person in the busy plus-size clothing store... or should I be upset about the fact that I was shopping at the fat guy shop to begin with?

Hmmm...

2011, So Far... in Five Words

1. Cold
2. Jogging
3. Taciturn
4. Wham-O
5. Impacted (as in feces)

Soup's on, Gertrude!!!

In the year of Our Lord, 2011...

I resolve to:

• exercise moderation in the pursuit of all things, particularly the quality of being moderate
• give a Dutch oven to a Dutch girl
• eat less cheese / destroy fewer commodes
• give without any thought of reciprocity, especially in instances of ass-kickings and STDs
• not rage violently about things such as cyclists, democrats, the New York Rangers, Texas' sodomy laws, the Amish, the lack of good bagel shops in Houston, my ever-increasing volume of ear hair, etc...
• see at least five films in theatrical release (the gauntlet is thrown... bring it on, Hollywood)
• make every effort as one man to bring parachute pants back into style
• be less overtly gassy in the company of friends and family (NEVER gonna happen)
• write more
• put more effort into grooming myself
• put more effort into grooming my dog
• put more effort into grooming the lawn
• put more effort into becoming a groom (grooming myself will hopefully help towards this end)
• be a bigger bad ass than I was in 2010 (a tall order, indeed)
• be more resolute

2010...

The Year I Just Didn't Have a Lot to Say.

Hoping to spew much more drivel in the coming year.

Decisions... decisions...

Two messages in my Yahoo! email Spam folder, one with the subject "Asian Singles" and the other slugged "Sexy Single Asians"... obviously, either of the two, when pursued, will occupy my time fully, so I can choose but one, BUT WHICH ONE SHOULD I CHOOSE??? I really don't need to be forced into that kind of under-the-gun decision making right now... honestly.

Fun Show!

Had a blast seeing Mates of State at Warehouse Live last Thursday... here's a vid someone shot of "For the Actor"

If I may invoke Roddy Piper... Guess he's all out of bubble gum.

Is saying you need to figure out "whose ass to kick" a presidential way to behave???

Celebrity Sort-of Look-Alike: Hall & Oates / Cartoon Edition

Keenly-coiffured Daryl Hall...

...and the character I've more or less emulated in every way (especially the not scoring aspect) since 1993, Beavis.

The man who took the baton from Art Garfunkel... and then passed it to Andrew Ridgeley, the magnificently-mustachioed John Oates...

...and long, lost "Garfield" character, Lyman.