Original post date: June 20, 2007 - Wednesday
The streets will flow red with the blood of the poor bastards I happen upon!
Certain things make me want to indiscriminately murder random people. Some of them are:
--Those Dr. Scholl's "I'm gellin'" commercials
--Listening to/watching Stuart Scott
--Strawberry milk
--ANY mention of Paris F'ing Hilton (may she be shanked in jail)
--News managers
--The "music" of Dave Matthews Band
--The voices in my head... WHEN they insist on reciting the poetry of Ogden Nash
--People who insist on talking endlessly about how their golf game is these days
--When people repeatedly make the quotation marks gesture with their fingers
--Ill-tempered Chihuahuas that tremble and bark incessantly (actually, that makes me want to murder the dog)
--Automaker advertisements that use a six second snippet of a popular song that happens to be applicable to their product and loop it over and over AND OVER AGAIN
--When athletes insist that "it's not about the money" (okay, that makes me want to murder the athlete's agent)
--Having to suffer the company of Kentuckians
--Mixed drinks in which Red Bull is used as a mixer
--When drive-thru attendants screw up my order, regardless of how simple it is or how hard I tried to clearly articulate it, because, quite frankly, they just don't give a shit.
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