My trip to Amsterdam
Had a great time there when we went back in 2005. Though I'd post some pics.
Showing posts with label "Classic" Blogs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label "Classic" Blogs. Show all posts
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Golden MySpace Classics... Texas' Citadel of Stupidity's Greatest Hits, Vol. 14
Original post date: August 2, 2007 - Thursday
My trip to Amsterdam
Had a great time there when we went back in 2005. Though I'd post some pics.
My trip to Amsterdam
Had a great time there when we went back in 2005. Though I'd post some pics.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Golden MySpace Classics... Texas' Citadel of Stupidity's Greatest Hits, Vol. 13
Original post date: May 26, 2007 - Saturday
Life? Don't talk to me about life.
The front door to his house swung open and the sullen man strode inside. The visage instantly familiar to most of us... this, however, was not the man we knew. This was not the dignified, even striking, iconic figure... proud to be the very embodiment of the sacred southern stereotype. This was a being defeated... distant and forlorn. He didn't even break stride as he entered his home, wheeling the door shut behind him carelessly with his left hand, the same hand in which was crumpled his previously pressed white coat, which he then simply let fall to the floor. Simultaneously, with a single finger of his right hand, manipulated in a manner something akin to a fish hook, he tugged uncomfortably at his signature string tie. With a gloomy gait and a face that strongly radiated pain despite a complete lack of expression, the gentleman made his way to the liquor cabinet. He grabbed a lowball glass, one very obviously crafted of fine crystal, and dropped a couple of ice cubes in... the procurement of ice being more gesture than genuine. No need to chew up precious volume needlessly with ice. He filled the glass, just a hair short of the rim, with his preferred brand of Kentucky bourbon and made his way to his favorite chair. He took his seat, slowly and deliberately. Despite the extraordinary comfort of his setting, the venerable old man was at disease. And as the broken soul raised the glass to his lips, eager for the first sweet sip of the only thing that brought him comfort anymore, Colonel Sanders muttered to himself, "God damn, fried chicken".
Life? Don't talk to me about life.
The front door to his house swung open and the sullen man strode inside. The visage instantly familiar to most of us... this, however, was not the man we knew. This was not the dignified, even striking, iconic figure... proud to be the very embodiment of the sacred southern stereotype. This was a being defeated... distant and forlorn. He didn't even break stride as he entered his home, wheeling the door shut behind him carelessly with his left hand, the same hand in which was crumpled his previously pressed white coat, which he then simply let fall to the floor. Simultaneously, with a single finger of his right hand, manipulated in a manner something akin to a fish hook, he tugged uncomfortably at his signature string tie. With a gloomy gait and a face that strongly radiated pain despite a complete lack of expression, the gentleman made his way to the liquor cabinet. He grabbed a lowball glass, one very obviously crafted of fine crystal, and dropped a couple of ice cubes in... the procurement of ice being more gesture than genuine. No need to chew up precious volume needlessly with ice. He filled the glass, just a hair short of the rim, with his preferred brand of Kentucky bourbon and made his way to his favorite chair. He took his seat, slowly and deliberately. Despite the extraordinary comfort of his setting, the venerable old man was at disease. And as the broken soul raised the glass to his lips, eager for the first sweet sip of the only thing that brought him comfort anymore, Colonel Sanders muttered to himself, "God damn, fried chicken".
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Golden MySpace Classics... Texas' Citadel of Stupidity's Greatest Hits, Vol. 12
Original post date: June 20, 2007 - Wednesday
The streets will flow red with the blood of the poor bastards I happen upon!
Certain things make me want to indiscriminately murder random people. Some of them are:
--Those Dr. Scholl's "I'm gellin'" commercials
--Listening to/watching Stuart Scott
--Strawberry milk
--ANY mention of Paris F'ing Hilton (may she be shanked in jail)
--News managers
--The "music" of Dave Matthews Band
--The voices in my head... WHEN they insist on reciting the poetry of Ogden Nash
--People who insist on talking endlessly about how their golf game is these days
--When people repeatedly make the quotation marks gesture with their fingers
--Ill-tempered Chihuahuas that tremble and bark incessantly (actually, that makes me want to murder the dog)
--Automaker advertisements that use a six second snippet of a popular song that happens to be applicable to their product and loop it over and over AND OVER AGAIN
--When athletes insist that "it's not about the money" (okay, that makes me want to murder the athlete's agent)
--Having to suffer the company of Kentuckians
--Mixed drinks in which Red Bull is used as a mixer
--When drive-thru attendants screw up my order, regardless of how simple it is or how hard I tried to clearly articulate it, because, quite frankly, they just don't give a shit.
The streets will flow red with the blood of the poor bastards I happen upon!
Certain things make me want to indiscriminately murder random people. Some of them are:
--Those Dr. Scholl's "I'm gellin'" commercials
--Listening to/watching Stuart Scott
--Strawberry milk
--ANY mention of Paris F'ing Hilton (may she be shanked in jail)
--News managers
--The "music" of Dave Matthews Band
--The voices in my head... WHEN they insist on reciting the poetry of Ogden Nash
--People who insist on talking endlessly about how their golf game is these days
--When people repeatedly make the quotation marks gesture with their fingers
--Ill-tempered Chihuahuas that tremble and bark incessantly (actually, that makes me want to murder the dog)
--Automaker advertisements that use a six second snippet of a popular song that happens to be applicable to their product and loop it over and over AND OVER AGAIN
--When athletes insist that "it's not about the money" (okay, that makes me want to murder the athlete's agent)
--Having to suffer the company of Kentuckians
--Mixed drinks in which Red Bull is used as a mixer
--When drive-thru attendants screw up my order, regardless of how simple it is or how hard I tried to clearly articulate it, because, quite frankly, they just don't give a shit.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Golden MySpace Classics... Texas' Citadel of Stupidity's Greatest Hits, Vol. 11
Original post date: October 16, 2007 - Tuesday
There is a French proverb that says...
..."no one is so generous as he who has nothing to give".
So, a couple of weeks ago I'm on the bus, heading into town to have my bikini zone tidied up, just like I do the first Tuesday of every warm, sunny month... and as usual, I've brought along one of those little "rainy day" projects that you normally do around the house... nothing of earth-shattering importance, just one of those mundane little tasks you've been meaning to get done for longer than you care to admit. Provided it's not too complicated, a trek of any duration aboard public transportation is a great opportunity to complete, or at least put a dent in, such assiduous little chores! Besides, I'm the squirrelly type anyway... I need something to occupy my attention. Anyway, so there I am on the bus...
Despite making a point to busy myself, I had taken notice of the guy that had taken a seat across from me when he first boarded our common conveyance, probably three or four stops after I had. Beyond the fact that he was the only other passenger on the bus, the first thing that struck me about him was that he was dressed in quite a few layers for such a warm day. He even seemed to be huddling for warmth as he enveloped himself in his long topcoat. He was well-groomed, but overtly nervous, in such a way that made it seem that he might be experiencing some sort of physical withdrawal... this made him appear somewhat haggard to me, despite his manicuring. Though I had allocated enough of my attention to him to fashion such observations, I failed to pay him much heed beyond that as I refocused myself upon the tedium at hand. Almost immediately thereafter, though I was now aware of his presence, he was as much on my mind as he had been before he hopped on the bus... and it continued to be that way... until he spoke to me.
It may have been two minutes... it may have been twenty, so engrossed was I with my mindless little job that I had no clue how long he had been sitting across the aisle, facing me. His first words were almost jarring as they snapped me out of my trance-like state of occupation. I looked up to see him still seated, but leaning forward towards me, in an effort to lesson the distance between us, both physically and personally, it occurs to me now. He spoke quietly, pain reverberating in his soft, desperate voice.
"Hey, buddy... I hate to bother you like this, but could you please lend me a quarter?" he asked sheepishly.
I just stared back at him... silent.
"C'mon man... I really hate to be a pain in the ass," he said as he began to plead, "I really gotta make a phone call and there's a payphone at this next stop. You look like a good guy... hows about helping me out?"
"I don't have a quarter," I replied, surprising myself with the coldness and emotional distance with which I engaged the obviously tormented individual.
"Don't have a quarter???" he shrieked, his visage taking on a rather maniacal quality, "What the hell do you mean you don't have a quarter??? Come on, man... please just give me a quarter and I'll leave you alone. I promise!"
I continued to look back at him, expressionless. "Look... I'd like to help you out. I really would. I just don't have a quarter."
At this point, he shot out of his seat. "Well, fuck you then, you jackass! What the hell is wrong with you anyway?" he screamed, flailing his limbs about. "People like you... don't give a shit about..."
He never finished his harangue... before he could, I lunged at him and stuck him flush on his jaw with my right fist. He dropped to the floor and lay there motionless.
Maybe I feared for my well-being and let a rush of adrenaline get the best of me... I don't really know why I did it. For several moments, I stood over the unconscious heap at my feet. I knew he was still alive as I could see his torso expand and contract as he drew breath normally. Despite the ferocity of my punch, he didn't even seem to be bleeding.
I took a deep breath and exhaled as I looked up at the bus' graffiti-covered ceiling. Convinced that this poor soul was not in need of immediate medical attention, I sat back down and resumed rolling my quarters.
There is a French proverb that says...
..."no one is so generous as he who has nothing to give".
So, a couple of weeks ago I'm on the bus, heading into town to have my bikini zone tidied up, just like I do the first Tuesday of every warm, sunny month... and as usual, I've brought along one of those little "rainy day" projects that you normally do around the house... nothing of earth-shattering importance, just one of those mundane little tasks you've been meaning to get done for longer than you care to admit. Provided it's not too complicated, a trek of any duration aboard public transportation is a great opportunity to complete, or at least put a dent in, such assiduous little chores! Besides, I'm the squirrelly type anyway... I need something to occupy my attention. Anyway, so there I am on the bus...
Despite making a point to busy myself, I had taken notice of the guy that had taken a seat across from me when he first boarded our common conveyance, probably three or four stops after I had. Beyond the fact that he was the only other passenger on the bus, the first thing that struck me about him was that he was dressed in quite a few layers for such a warm day. He even seemed to be huddling for warmth as he enveloped himself in his long topcoat. He was well-groomed, but overtly nervous, in such a way that made it seem that he might be experiencing some sort of physical withdrawal... this made him appear somewhat haggard to me, despite his manicuring. Though I had allocated enough of my attention to him to fashion such observations, I failed to pay him much heed beyond that as I refocused myself upon the tedium at hand. Almost immediately thereafter, though I was now aware of his presence, he was as much on my mind as he had been before he hopped on the bus... and it continued to be that way... until he spoke to me.
It may have been two minutes... it may have been twenty, so engrossed was I with my mindless little job that I had no clue how long he had been sitting across the aisle, facing me. His first words were almost jarring as they snapped me out of my trance-like state of occupation. I looked up to see him still seated, but leaning forward towards me, in an effort to lesson the distance between us, both physically and personally, it occurs to me now. He spoke quietly, pain reverberating in his soft, desperate voice.
"Hey, buddy... I hate to bother you like this, but could you please lend me a quarter?" he asked sheepishly.
I just stared back at him... silent.
"C'mon man... I really hate to be a pain in the ass," he said as he began to plead, "I really gotta make a phone call and there's a payphone at this next stop. You look like a good guy... hows about helping me out?"
"I don't have a quarter," I replied, surprising myself with the coldness and emotional distance with which I engaged the obviously tormented individual.
"Don't have a quarter???" he shrieked, his visage taking on a rather maniacal quality, "What the hell do you mean you don't have a quarter??? Come on, man... please just give me a quarter and I'll leave you alone. I promise!"
I continued to look back at him, expressionless. "Look... I'd like to help you out. I really would. I just don't have a quarter."
At this point, he shot out of his seat. "Well, fuck you then, you jackass! What the hell is wrong with you anyway?" he screamed, flailing his limbs about. "People like you... don't give a shit about..."
He never finished his harangue... before he could, I lunged at him and stuck him flush on his jaw with my right fist. He dropped to the floor and lay there motionless.
Maybe I feared for my well-being and let a rush of adrenaline get the best of me... I don't really know why I did it. For several moments, I stood over the unconscious heap at my feet. I knew he was still alive as I could see his torso expand and contract as he drew breath normally. Despite the ferocity of my punch, he didn't even seem to be bleeding.
I took a deep breath and exhaled as I looked up at the bus' graffiti-covered ceiling. Convinced that this poor soul was not in need of immediate medical attention, I sat back down and resumed rolling my quarters.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Golden MySpace Classics... Texas' Citadel of Stupidity's Greatest Hits, Vol. 10
Original post date: July 14, 2007 - Saturday
Do you ever have those days...
...where, for whatever reason... usually something you can't really place your finger on, you just feel pretty? Well, I don't. Now don't get me wrong... I fancy myself quite the lovely specimen of humanity... but pretty?
How to remedy this? Perhaps if I shaved more frequently than seven times a year... maybe a nice designer fragrance...
Eh, f*ck it... too damn much work.
Do you ever have those days...
...where, for whatever reason... usually something you can't really place your finger on, you just feel pretty? Well, I don't. Now don't get me wrong... I fancy myself quite the lovely specimen of humanity... but pretty?
How to remedy this? Perhaps if I shaved more frequently than seven times a year... maybe a nice designer fragrance...
Eh, f*ck it... too damn much work.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Golden MySpace Classics... Texas' Citadel of Stupidity's Greatest Hits, Vol. 9
Original post date: June 26, 2007 - Tuesday
Some of Ted's Favorite Quotes... ENJOY!
"It is better to be feared than loved, if one cannot be both." --Niccolo Machiavelli
"The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs." --Charles de Gaulle
"Work is the curse of the drinking class." --Oscar Wilde
"The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled." --Plutarch
"Those who hate you don't win unless you hate them, and then you destroy yourself." --Richard M. Nixon
"What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others." --Pericles
"Some people are dumb." --Butt-head
"All of us might wish at times that we lived in a more tranquil world, but we don't. And if our times are difficult and perplexing, so are they challenging and filled with opportunity." --Robert F. Kennedy
"Mmmmmmmm... beeeeer." --Homer Simpson
"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." --Carl Jung
"When we went back to the dressing room after the game, that parrot was dead." --Archie Manning
"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum." --Nada (played by Roddy Piper) in They Live
PROFOUND!!!
Some of Ted's Favorite Quotes... ENJOY!
"It is better to be feared than loved, if one cannot be both." --Niccolo Machiavelli
"The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs." --Charles de Gaulle
"Work is the curse of the drinking class." --Oscar Wilde
"The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled." --Plutarch
"Those who hate you don't win unless you hate them, and then you destroy yourself." --Richard M. Nixon
"What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others." --Pericles
"Some people are dumb." --Butt-head
"All of us might wish at times that we lived in a more tranquil world, but we don't. And if our times are difficult and perplexing, so are they challenging and filled with opportunity." --Robert F. Kennedy
"Mmmmmmmm... beeeeer." --Homer Simpson
"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." --Carl Jung
"When we went back to the dressing room after the game, that parrot was dead." --Archie Manning
"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum." --Nada (played by Roddy Piper) in They Live
PROFOUND!!!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Golden MySpace Classics... Texas' Citadel of Stupidity's Greatest Hits, Vol. 8
Original post date: December 5, 2006 - Tuesday
It's all a matter of perspective
So, a person very near and dear to me recently told me that the world needed more people like me.
I told her that if there were more people like me in this world, we would experience a serious shortage of fat pants, and nothing good could possibly come of that.
She didn't understand.
It's all a matter of perspective
So, a person very near and dear to me recently told me that the world needed more people like me.
I told her that if there were more people like me in this world, we would experience a serious shortage of fat pants, and nothing good could possibly come of that.
She didn't understand.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Golden MySpace Classics... Texas' Citadel of Stupidity's Greatest Hits, Vol. 7
Original post date: May 24, 2007 - Thursday
Burn, Hollywood! Burn!
Okay...
I've been told on more than one occasion that I am something of a "film snob". I don't see how this can be the case... I liked Ishtar for God's sake! Okay, I'm lying about that. Anyway... I think the American cinema is in sad shape these days. Remakes of remakes of remakes... and three sequels to those! Only the news that the planned Revenge of the Nerds remake had fallen apart served to reaffirm what little faith I had left in the Zionist cinematic powerbrokers and their Japanese overlords. Sadly, despite this small battle being won, I know the war will be lost... and we will find ourselves adrift in a sea of remakes of dozens upon dozens of films and TV shows, SO... I figure when you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Here are some of my ideas for some new films...
--Welcome Back, Kotter... A tense, gritty drama about a high school where gangs run amok. The only hope? The heroic, but misunderstood Sweathogs.
Starring Colin Farrell as "Vinnie Barbarino" and Academy Award winner Jamie Foxx as "Boom Boom"... with Chris Kattan as "Horshack" and a special appearance by Samuel L. Jackson as "Mr. Kotter"
--Fat Albert (NO... it's not too soon for a remake of 2004's live-action classic!)... Fat Albert and his buddies, the Cosby kids, experience various misadventures... and while they may not "do the right thing" at first, they'll learn a valuable lesson about life... and you can bet they'll get it right the next time!
Starring Eddie Murphy (in a fat suit) as "Fat Albert" and some of today's hottest hip-hop "artists" as the Cosby kids: Young Jeezy, Young Sneezey, Young Sleepy, Young Dopey AND, through the magic of digital editing technology, all your favorite denominations of Bow Wow from throughout the years... Li'l Bow Wow, Big Bow Wow, Sonic-Size Bow Wow and Jr. Bacon Bow Wow (hold the pickles)... with Golden Globe winner Jamie Foxxx as "Bill Cosby" and a special appearance by Kurtis Blow as "Mudfoot"
--Cagney and Lacey... a grim and gritty crime drama about a couple of no-nonsense detectives, fighting crime in the streets and fighting the establishment in the force.
Starring Colin Farrell as "Det. Marty Lacey" and Independent Spirit Award winner Jamie Foxxxx as "Det. Chris Cagney"... with Will Farrell as "The Informant" and a special appearance by Tyne Daly as "Lt. Samuels"
--Star Wars... a dark, gritty intergalactic drama about a couple of space cops who walk the tightrope between the right and wrong sides of the law. Sometimes, the line gets blurred!
Starring Colin Farrell as "Luke Skywalker" and winner of a small order of fries in the McDonald's Monopoly game promotion Jamie Foxxxxx as "Han Solo"... with Will Farrell as "Greedo", Robin Williams as "Chewbacca" and a special appearance by Tyne Daly as "Jabba the Hutt"
--Midnight Cowboy... a new twist on the Best Picture of 1969... a couple of down-and-out hustlers are looking for the big score on the streets of NYC... instead they find true love in each other's arms! Oh, yeah... there's some grit in there!
Starring Heath Ledger as "Joe Buck" and Jake Gyllenhaal as "Ratso Rizzo"... with Will Farrell as "Towny" and a special appearance by Super Bowl XXXVII winner Jamie Foxxxxxx as "Shaft" (Hey, everybody loves a good crossover!)
Burn, Hollywood! Burn!
Okay...
I've been told on more than one occasion that I am something of a "film snob". I don't see how this can be the case... I liked Ishtar for God's sake! Okay, I'm lying about that. Anyway... I think the American cinema is in sad shape these days. Remakes of remakes of remakes... and three sequels to those! Only the news that the planned Revenge of the Nerds remake had fallen apart served to reaffirm what little faith I had left in the Zionist cinematic powerbrokers and their Japanese overlords. Sadly, despite this small battle being won, I know the war will be lost... and we will find ourselves adrift in a sea of remakes of dozens upon dozens of films and TV shows, SO... I figure when you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Here are some of my ideas for some new films...
--Welcome Back, Kotter... A tense, gritty drama about a high school where gangs run amok. The only hope? The heroic, but misunderstood Sweathogs.
Starring Colin Farrell as "Vinnie Barbarino" and Academy Award winner Jamie Foxx as "Boom Boom"... with Chris Kattan as "Horshack" and a special appearance by Samuel L. Jackson as "Mr. Kotter"
--Fat Albert (NO... it's not too soon for a remake of 2004's live-action classic!)... Fat Albert and his buddies, the Cosby kids, experience various misadventures... and while they may not "do the right thing" at first, they'll learn a valuable lesson about life... and you can bet they'll get it right the next time!
Starring Eddie Murphy (in a fat suit) as "Fat Albert" and some of today's hottest hip-hop "artists" as the Cosby kids: Young Jeezy, Young Sneezey, Young Sleepy, Young Dopey AND, through the magic of digital editing technology, all your favorite denominations of Bow Wow from throughout the years... Li'l Bow Wow, Big Bow Wow, Sonic-Size Bow Wow and Jr. Bacon Bow Wow (hold the pickles)... with Golden Globe winner Jamie Foxxx as "Bill Cosby" and a special appearance by Kurtis Blow as "Mudfoot"
--Cagney and Lacey... a grim and gritty crime drama about a couple of no-nonsense detectives, fighting crime in the streets and fighting the establishment in the force.
Starring Colin Farrell as "Det. Marty Lacey" and Independent Spirit Award winner Jamie Foxxxx as "Det. Chris Cagney"... with Will Farrell as "The Informant" and a special appearance by Tyne Daly as "Lt. Samuels"
--Star Wars... a dark, gritty intergalactic drama about a couple of space cops who walk the tightrope between the right and wrong sides of the law. Sometimes, the line gets blurred!
Starring Colin Farrell as "Luke Skywalker" and winner of a small order of fries in the McDonald's Monopoly game promotion Jamie Foxxxxx as "Han Solo"... with Will Farrell as "Greedo", Robin Williams as "Chewbacca" and a special appearance by Tyne Daly as "Jabba the Hutt"
--Midnight Cowboy... a new twist on the Best Picture of 1969... a couple of down-and-out hustlers are looking for the big score on the streets of NYC... instead they find true love in each other's arms! Oh, yeah... there's some grit in there!
Starring Heath Ledger as "Joe Buck" and Jake Gyllenhaal as "Ratso Rizzo"... with Will Farrell as "Towny" and a special appearance by Super Bowl XXXVII winner Jamie Foxxxxxx as "Shaft" (Hey, everybody loves a good crossover!)
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Golden MySpace Classics... Texas' Citadel of Stupidity's Greatest Hits, Vol. 6
Original post date: July 24, 2007 - Tuesday
The path to a man's heart...
... is to start with an 11 to 12 inch incision in the chest... then, the breastbone is split in two. A retractor is then used to pull back the breastbone and ribs in order to open up the chest...
...or so I've read. Please keep in mind, I'm no expert or anything... about this... or much else really.
Please love me!
The path to a man's heart...
... is to start with an 11 to 12 inch incision in the chest... then, the breastbone is split in two. A retractor is then used to pull back the breastbone and ribs in order to open up the chest...
...or so I've read. Please keep in mind, I'm no expert or anything... about this... or much else really.
Please love me!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Golden MySpace Classics... Texas' Citadel of Stupidity's Greatest Hits, Vol. 5
Original post date: June 19, 2007 - Tuesday
Hey, stinky... IT FLOATS!
Is it the name of a seafaring vessel? Is it a brand of adult diaper? Hell, it could just be both!
Freedom
Independence
Assurance
Southern Breeze
Crosswinds
The Poopdeck
High Tide
Outback (actually, that would only work in a RV/diaper context... sorry)
Warmer Waters
Drift Away
Breezy Stream
H.M.S. Absorbent
Hey, stinky... IT FLOATS!
Is it the name of a seafaring vessel? Is it a brand of adult diaper? Hell, it could just be both!
Freedom
Independence
Assurance
Southern Breeze
Crosswinds
The Poopdeck
High Tide
Outback (actually, that would only work in a RV/diaper context... sorry)
Warmer Waters
Drift Away
Breezy Stream
H.M.S. Absorbent
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Golden MySpace Classics... Texas' Citadel of Stupidity's Greatest Hits, Vol. 4
Original post date: July 9, 2007 - Monday
People say...
..."Don't pee on my leg and then tell me it's raining!"... but what the hell do people know about anything anyway? I say, "If you've got it, flaunt it!", so I do... flaunt it, that is... because I have it... quite frequently actually. That being said (or, in this case, written... well, typed... rather slowly, to be truthful), I've found that, more often than not, by the time my third hot-buttered bum biscuit is airborne, I'm in solitude city, baby. Eh, f*ck 'em anyway... I'm more than capable of keeping myself entertained.
Could somebody please light a match? Oh, yeah... um... nevermind.
People say...
..."Don't pee on my leg and then tell me it's raining!"... but what the hell do people know about anything anyway? I say, "If you've got it, flaunt it!", so I do... flaunt it, that is... because I have it... quite frequently actually. That being said (or, in this case, written... well, typed... rather slowly, to be truthful), I've found that, more often than not, by the time my third hot-buttered bum biscuit is airborne, I'm in solitude city, baby. Eh, f*ck 'em anyway... I'm more than capable of keeping myself entertained.
Could somebody please light a match? Oh, yeah... um... nevermind.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Golden MySpace Classics... Texas' Citadel of Stupidity's Greatest Hits, Vol. 3
I repost this in honor of the Texans' franchise-best third consecutive win yesterday...
Original post date: June 14, 2007 - Thursday
If they mated...
Astros All-Star Lance Berkman...
...and tennis great Pete Sampras...
...and you get new Texans quarterback Matt Schaub!
Original post date: June 14, 2007 - Thursday
If they mated...
Astros All-Star Lance Berkman...
...and tennis great Pete Sampras...
...and you get new Texans quarterback Matt Schaub!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Golden MySpace Classics... Texas' Citadel of Stupidity's Greatest Hits, Vol. 2
Original post date: October 17, 2007 - Wednesday
Yet another celebrity look-alike
The 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso...
and...
Scaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry!!!
Yet another celebrity look-alike
The 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso...
and...
Scaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry!!!
Friday, October 10, 2008
Golden MySpace Classics... Texas' Citadel of Stupidity's Greatest Hits
I feel the need to post, yet I can't think of a single interesting or entertaining thing to write about (some would argue that this is always the case). So, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to debut something I intend to do on a semi-regular basis (more often than not, in an instance such as tonight, when my mind's creative commode is clogged up)... recycling old posts from the heady days of blogging on my MySpace page. I give you installment numero uno...
Original post date: July 11, 2007 - Wednesday
If I had a band...
these are a few bits of silliness that would garner serious consideration for nomenclature:
-Salamander Phyllis
-Backing Over Brooche
-The Immaculate Filth
-And God Said "FEH!"
-Parting Before Pooping
-Truncated Junk
-Baneful Bounty
-Half-Past Drunk
-Asscasket
-Odoriferous Jim
-Boom Boom Room
-Honkeytown, PA
-The Aegean Stables
-Fette Durchfahrt
-No, Bob! No!
To those of you that wasted precious seconds of your time here on Earth reading this...
Original post date: July 11, 2007 - Wednesday
If I had a band...
these are a few bits of silliness that would garner serious consideration for nomenclature:
-Salamander Phyllis
-Backing Over Brooche
-The Immaculate Filth
-And God Said "FEH!"
-Parting Before Pooping
-Truncated Junk
-Baneful Bounty
-Half-Past Drunk
-Asscasket
-Odoriferous Jim
-Boom Boom Room
-Honkeytown, PA
-The Aegean Stables
-Fette Durchfahrt
-No, Bob! No!
To those of you that wasted precious seconds of your time here on Earth reading this...
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