They call me Robert Petry and I live in New Rochelle
With my wife Laura and son Richie but now
My life's a living hell 'cause
I tripped over the ottoman
One too many times
I tripped over the ottoman
Until I lost my mind...
I was head writer for Alan Brady
Maybe you've seen his show
It's now funny and it makes my ears bleed
This week's guest star isn't Danny Thomas
Our special guest star is Death!
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