Ted's at-the-ballpark team gear fan etiquette

As the Mrs. and I enjoy a few beers in advance of the Astros home opener (screw the Monday after the Super Bowl, MLB opening day should be a national holiday), we are chatting about the event-pertinent fashion choices made by the ever growing crowd of fans in our pregame bar of choice. As a result of this exchange, I've decided to briefly outline my fan gear philosophy:

•Throwback gear is always acceptable, EXCEPT in the case of the uniform/logo/color scheme immediately prior to the current one. For instance, wearing a 1998 vintage navy blue/metallic gold Tony Eusebio Astros jersey to the ballpark today is perfectly acceptable. A 2005 Chris Burke brick red, black and sand (or whatever they called that crappy beige) jersey? Nope.

•You can't wear the current jersey of players no longer with the team. Rocking your Altuve #27 today? Great choice! Pulled your Saturday orange Dexter Fowler (now with Cubs) #21 out of the closet? Fowl... I mean FOUL on you!

•Despite it being a team for which they played, you can't customize a jersey with a player name/number if they never wore that jersey. I don't want to see any "RYAN 34" jerseys from the Jimmy Wynn "shooting star" uni era, nor any Colt .45s caps with anything Astros. I made sure that he had indeed played for them in '89 when they made they switch from pullover to button-down before I slapped "PUHL 21" on my button-down Rawlings Astros home white.

•Never mix/combine different era logos... but if you insist on being one of those people, NEVER MIX DIFFERENT COLOR SCHEMES!!!!! Brick red, navy blue and sand? Puke!!!! Oh wait, that's the current Cleveland Cavaliers combo isn't it? Well, at least they have LeBron.

•Updated/resurrected logos must abide by the "no mixing logos" standard. The current update of the Astros 70s/80s era logo can be used with the current unis/gear, BUT NOT your Mitchell & Ness "BIGGIO 7" throwback BP jersey. Your old Astros cap from '86? Close, but no wearing it with your contemporary "SPRINGER 4" home white.

•Non-logo, but pertinent fan gear of the proper color scheme is acceptable. My wife's "I'm a Baseball and Cold Beer kinda girl" navy blue and orange t-shirt worn with her current logo Astros visor? Thumbs up!!!

Happy opening day 2015 all!!!