"About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age."

This week, Houston is home to golf's "Champions Tour" event... I believe it is called the Metamucil Houston Colostomy Bag Open, but I might not have that quite right... it's not important. What is important is that I make the assertion that geezer golf may very well be the most painfully boring incarnation of "sport". I'd rather watch minor league curling than these fat and feeble shadows of their former selves hack it for 18 holes, three days in a row... alas, it's my job to do just that. Maybe I'll be unexpectedly treated to some excitement when one of these duffers breaks a hip.