"Men, as a whole, judge more with their eyes than with their hands." -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Perhaps, ol' HWL was off-base on this one...

I was watching the junior market steer show at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo last night. The protocol for selecting the champion steer goes as such... a single judge, just a few yards away from the finalists, saunters along the herd, looking each steer over (much like a judge in a dog show)... upon reaching a decision, the judge approaches their choice and discloses the winner by lightly slapping it on the rump (and much rejoicing ensues).

As I am sick in the head, a thought occurred to me... this would be an awesome way to reveal the victors in beauty pageants! "And Miss America 2009 is... [SMACK!!!] Miss Missouri, Bunny Fluffytail!!!" How great would it be to see the emcee stroll up and place a proper pop on the well-formed posterior of America's instant-new-favorite busty, toothy beauty?!? What a coronation that would be!