Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Go Go, Galactic Nookie!

Watching the History Channel tonight, I took in The Universe: Sex in Space. As you may have already extrapolated from the episode title, it addressed man's future beyond the earth and how human intimacy may manifest itself in a weightless environment... a gentleman at the broadcast's conclusion synopsized things nicely, saying, "Wherever mankind goes, sex will follow." (Obviously, he's never been to my place... aw, I just made myself sad) Anyway, it's certainly an interesting topic, and one, as was a great part of the program's point, that has yet to be properly probed (uh-huh-huh... probed!) The show was handled tactfully, but, as I have already made apparent by my previous comment, I intend to take it upon myself to approach the matter in an exponentially less mature manner... I have questions to which I need answers, so might as well get started!

  • Will space condoms be effective in preventing the spread of space syphilis, space gonorrhea, space chlamydia (AKA, the cosmic clap), space herpes, space HIV/ AIDS and other stellar sexually transmitted diseases?
  • Will our moon colonies have legalized prostitution?
  • The big Mars Mission ship... will it provide an accommodating climate for the raunchy romps and escapades upon which the sex-starved teens on board are bound to embark?
  • Will Mormon astronauts be allowed to practice polygamy?
  • How will we address the controversial issue of inter-interplanetary species marriage?
  • Do they intend to install a capsule for "swinging" on the international space station?
  • Insert you own "Uranus" joke here
  • And lastly, since we'll be dealing with zero-Gs here, how in the world do we "fluid-proof" everything?

Godspeed, Ron Jeremy!!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hilarious!!!!!!