Whimsical Personifications for All!!!

Christmas has Santa Claus (oh... and Jesus, too)... Easter has the Easter Bunny (oh... and Jesus, too)... Martin Luther King, Jr Day has Martin Luther King, Jr... Halloween has Joy Behar... These beloved events all have their symbols, lifelike beings that embody the occasions... and often transcend the holidays themselves. But what of Labor Day... what of Chanukah??? Feeling that these other worthy holidays should not be further neglected, should not have to go without, I've decided to give them their due... and provide each with a figure to personify the celebration...

• Chanukah: Menorah Maury
• Labor Day: The reanimated Jimmy Hoffa
• Earth Day: Granola Bill, the filthy, unkempt hippie
• April Fools Day: The disemboweled corpse of Will Ferrell
• Fathers' Day: Shawn Kemp
• Thanksgiving Day: Takeru Kobayashi
• New Year's Day: Hungover Joey, the extraordinarily light-sensitive puking machine
• St. Valentine's Day: Shawn Kemp

Enjoying a Bountiful Harvest!

So, a couple of my serrano peppers had taken on a nice blush... they were picked and given another day, getting nice and red over that duration. I seeded them and chopped them up, along with some sweet yellow onion, and gave the peppers and onions a nice sweat in a pan. While cooking those down, I beat three eggs with some shredded cheese, half-and-half, minced garlic, chopped tomato, S&P and some freshly picked Italian parsley... got the egg mixture in the pan and scrambled them up with the peppers and onions. Served them with a toasted bagel and cream cheese.


Nothing particularly impressive, I know... it's just cool making a meal from food you've grown yourself... and it was quite good!

Ode to a Goat

Helloooooooo, goat...
Hello furry little beard
Graze... shit... faint...
Picky eater, you ain't
Love the chevre though

What the world needs now...

is an exciting and new (and by that, I mean awful and inappropriate) children's show host... here are a few suggestions...

• Timothy "Red" Tinkles (has a terrible bladder infection)
• Cowboy Bob and his sidekick Tumbleweed (unapologetic anti-Semites)
• Infectious Chet (duh)
• Al Gore
• Bobby the Badger (rabid)
• Paris Hilton (ditto)
• Li'l Jamaal (L.A. Crip)
• Bozo the Clown (the original... in his current condition)
• Adolf and Heinrich (too sugary)
• Bus Depot Jim (hygiene issues)
• Sparky Sal (encourages children to stick items in electrical outlets)

And last, but not least... say it with me, everybody...

• Michael Jackson

Were I forced to choose between the two...

I would, after much agonizing, have to go with Pucky the Whale...

over Fudgy the Whale...

Happy birthday...

TO ME!!!