What the world needs now...

is an exciting and new (and by that, I mean awful and inappropriate) children's show host... here are a few suggestions...

• Timothy "Red" Tinkles (has a terrible bladder infection)
• Cowboy Bob and his sidekick Tumbleweed (unapologetic anti-Semites)
• Infectious Chet (duh)
• Al Gore
• Bobby the Badger (rabid)
• Paris Hilton (ditto)
• Li'l Jamaal (L.A. Crip)
• Bozo the Clown (the original... in his current condition)
• Adolf and Heinrich (too sugary)
• Bus Depot Jim (hygiene issues)
• Sparky Sal (encourages children to stick items in electrical outlets)

And last, but not least... say it with me, everybody...

• Michael Jackson