Whimsical Personifications for All!!!

Christmas has Santa Claus (oh... and Jesus, too)... Easter has the Easter Bunny (oh... and Jesus, too)... Martin Luther King, Jr Day has Martin Luther King, Jr... Halloween has Joy Behar... These beloved events all have their symbols, lifelike beings that embody the occasions... and often transcend the holidays themselves. But what of Labor Day... what of Chanukah??? Feeling that these other worthy holidays should not be further neglected, should not have to go without, I've decided to give them their due... and provide each with a figure to personify the celebration...

• Chanukah: Menorah Maury
• Labor Day: The reanimated Jimmy Hoffa
• Earth Day: Granola Bill, the filthy, unkempt hippie
• April Fools Day: The disemboweled corpse of Will Ferrell
• Fathers' Day: Shawn Kemp
• Thanksgiving Day: Takeru Kobayashi
• New Year's Day: Hungover Joey, the extraordinarily light-sensitive puking machine
• St. Valentine's Day: Shawn Kemp